Forget-me-not-Friday #71

My husband was recently complaining that I haven’t done my Forget-me-not-Friday in a while – whereby I simply pick a funny thing my children have said that week.

So here’s a quick one from my youngest, age 3:

I’m happily relaxing in the bath after a busy day, whilst my husband finishes off bedtime with my two girls.

3 year-old barges into the bathroom, index finger held aloft.

3 year-old: “Mummy, I’ve come to wash my finger.”

Me: “Why?”

3 year-old: “Because it’s all trumpy.”

Me, not really wanting to ask why it’s ‘all trumpy’, but feeling like I should: “Why’s it all trumpy?”

3 year-old: “Because I sat on my trump.”

Okay….

Forget-me-not-Friday #70, featuring Eclipse 2015

Forget-me-not-Friday

My 4 1/2 year old and I are discussing the eclipse.

4 1/2 year old: “Mummy, what an e-clips?”

Me, having googled this and feeling smugly prepared: “Well! It only happens once in a very, very long time.  The moon passes in front of the sun and casts a shadow, and that means the sun can’t light up the daytime for a short while and it all goes really dark. It’s very exciting. You’ll probably all go into the playground at school and watch it.  But you can’t watch it without special glasses as the sun can hurt your eyes.”

4 1/2 year old, having thought about it for a bit: “Erm…so will we have to take some clips to school?”

Me: “Er…no…”

 

Forget-me-not-Friday #69

Forget-me-not-Friday
Another gem of a Forget-me-not-Friday this week, as both my children seem to be saying some exceptionally funny stuff. Well I think so anyway, but then I am their Mother. Maybe this will bore the pants off you. Nevertheless, some examples below.

Warning: this post mentions trumps and wee.

4 year old:

Funny talk #1
To Daddy:
“Girls don’t trump, you know. Only boys trump. Actually, I just tried to squeeze one out but it didn’t happen, so that’s why girls don’t fart.”

Funny talk #2
Also to Daddy, the brunt of much funny banter this week:
“DADDY, IF YOU SAY THAT TO ME AGAIN, I’M GOING TO RUN INTO YOUR BEDROOM AND SHOUT WEE-WEE REALLY LOUD!”

2 year old:
“Mummy, do the bath drink!”

“What do you mean, the bath drink?”

“The bath drink!!”

“Erm…what’s a bath drink?”

*runs into bathroom, points at taps*

“Oh, you mean turn the taps on because you want a bath…I see!”

Looking forward to what next week brings!..

Forget-me-not-Friday #68

Forget-me-not-Friday

It’s been a while since I wrote a Forget-me-not-Friday, mainly because anything my girls come out with instantly goes out of my head due to brain failure. But I managed to remember one this week. It did only happen about one hour ago.

4 year old and I are having a ‘set to’. She’s been exceedingly naughty all afternoon, involving swinging off stairgates until they’re half hanging off the wall and generally terrorising her little sister. I say she has to stay in her room for a bit until she can be good. She says she’s not staying in there. In a delightful moment of parenting know-how, I tell her I’ll wedge a towel in the door so she can’t come out –  and she will have to stay there until I say so. She informs me she can get the towel out anyway if she wants. Here’s how it turned out:

4 year old: “Well I can get ANY towel out of the door anyway!”

Me, recognising this is not my finest mum-moment, but feeling the need to see it through now I’ve started: “Well let’s try then shall we?”

*Puts towel in top of door and wedges it shut with 4 year old inside and me just outside. Not intending to leave it in for long, obviously.*

4 year old, from behind the door and sounding distinctly cross and defiant:  “WELL, MUMMY! I HAVE AN IDEA!”

Me: “And what’s that?”

4 year old: “I’M NOT TELLING!”

*General shuffling and fetching noises.  I put my eye to a crack in the door.  I realise she is pulling up a chair to ensure she can reach the towel and pull it out.  Not ONLY pulling up a chair, but assembling various books ON the chair so that she can stand on these and it will make her even taller.  I realise in growing horror that I may lose this battle unless I think fast, like a Sergeant Major in the face of an impending calamity.  I decide I must not lose, so I simply pull hard on the door knob so she will think it’s still shut and she hasn’t won.*

*I then wonder why I am at pulling on the door knob to my 4 year old daughter’s bedroom, whilst simultaneously hiding from her.*

4 year old, to general huffing and puffing noises: “I can’t get it out, Mummy”

Me, thinking “phewee!”: “Well, why don’t you sit quietly and I will come and get you and you can watch Frozen with your sister.”

4 year old, after a minute or two of silence followed by some loud, meaningful “harrumphing”: “Ok then Mummy!”

I think I won.  I really do.

 

Forget-me-not-Friday #67

Forget-me-not-Friday It’s not actually Friday, it’s Saturday but I didn’t have the chance to write this yesterday due to being a BUSY MUM. However my 4 year old was demonstrating some remarkable negotiation skills this week which I must share…

It was Thursday or thereabouts and I had bought a Kit Kat – a four-fingered Kit Kat. I gave one finger each to the girls as a treat, then thought we would save the rest for Mr EC when he got home from work.

4 year old and her little sister were busily eating their tea and said Kit Kat was resting on the kitchen worktop, calmly awaiting Mr EC’s arrival. Here’s what transpired…

4 year old: “Is that the Kit Kat, Mummy?”

Me: “Yes, that’s Daddy’s bit for when he gets home isn’t it? It’s his favourite.”

4 year old: “Can I have some?”

Me: “No – you and your sister ate yours earlier. That’s for Daddy. You can tell him as soon as he comes in that he’s got a Kit Kat.”

4 year old: “But I’ve eaten my tea really nicely!”

Me: “Yes you have. You can have a satsuma.”

4 year old, after a short, sullen silence: “But can I just hold it?”

Me: “No, you can’t hold it.”

4 year old: “But I just want to hold it!! Then I can give it to him when he gets home from work!”

Me: “No. You’ll eat it. You won’t be able to help yourself.”

4 year old, indignant: “I will NOT eat it!”

Me: “Well I think it’s best it stays there.”

4 year old: “But it’s lonely, Mummy. And we must always be kind to people and look after things.”

Me, thinking ‘bugger!’, as these are 2 of her school rules and technically she’s right. Although the Kit Kat isn’t a person, surely?! And not a thing that needs looking after as such??: “I still just think it should stay where it is, as I am sure it is quite happy where it is.”

4 year old: “Well you’re MEAN!! You’re being MEAN to the KIT KAT!”

Me: “I am not having this conversation anymore…”

Forget-me-not-Friday #66

Forget-me-not-Friday
Since starting preschool, my 4 year old is asking a lot more questions. It’s great that she’s curious about the world, people and the way everything works, but sometimes it hurts my brain?

We’re just leaving a car park on a VERY rainy day, where a poor car park attendant had the joy of standing for hours on end ushering drivers to the relevant available parking spaces and dealing with many who had ‘car park rage’ (myself not included).

Me: “Poor man, having to stand there in the rain all day dealing with that.”

4 year old, pondering on this: “Does he ever go to sleep?”

Me: “Oh yes, he’ll go home at the end of the day and go to bed.”

4 year old: “But why do we need to go to sleep?”

Me: “Well, so our brains and bodies can rest for the next day.”

4 year old: “But why do they need to rest?”

Me: “Because otherwise they get very tired and can’t play or learn as much at school.”

4 year old: “But why can’t we play as much?”

Me: “Well if we haven’t had enough sleep, our bodies get too tired.”

4 year old: “But why do they get too tired?”

Me, just beginning to tire slightly: “That’s the way our bodies and brains work- they need sleep at night to work.”

4 year old: “But why do they need sleep?”

Me, now performing a silent scream in my head: “Because that’s the way our bodies work- we need to sleep and rest every night.”

4 year old, pondering again: “I get lots of sleep don’t I?”

Me, thinking she could probably get a little more sleep at times, but breathing a sigh of relief at the prospect of the conversation drawing to a close: “Yes, you do.”

4 year old: “Shall we watch Frozen when we get in?”

Me: “Certainly!”

Forget-me-not-Friday #65

Forget-me-not-Friday
Today’s Forget-me-not-Friday is about my 4 year old’s fascination with bugs and increasing interest in the natural world. She’s been studying the ‘world around us’ at school and it’s lovely to see her trying to work things out for herself.

There’s a ladybird on the ceiling. 4 year old is fascinated with how it stays upside down.

4 year old: “…but how does it stay there?”

Daddy, panicking slightly at lack of ladybird knowledge: “Erm, maybe it has special sticky pads on his feet? I’ll look it up for you and find out.”

4 year old, decisively after thinking for a while: “I know how it stays.”

Daddy: “Really? How does it stay there?”

4 year old: “It has magnets on its feet.”

Daddy: “Ah, yes…you could be right there…”

Forget-me-not-Friday #64

Forget-me-not-Friday

My nearly-two year old is learning to fend for herself…it’s also interesting watching her language develop as she tends to shout “I don’t like it the [insert item of offence]..” instead of just “I don’t like…”

Me: “Eat some of your salmon”

Nearly-two-year-old: “No I don’t like it the salmon. Want more sweet corn”.

Me: “But you can’t just eat sweet corn, you’ve got to eat some of your fish, too.”

Nearly-two-year-old, voicing rising in pitch: “Want more sweet corn!”

Me: “What about some sausage?”

Nearly-two-year-old: “I DON’T LIKE IT THE SAUSAGE I WANT MORE SWEETCORN!!”

Four-year-old, seeing an opportunity to gang up on me: “Mummy, I think we should just have some pudding.”

Welcome to life with two assertive girls…

Forget-me-not-Friday #62

Forget-me-not-Friday

Today’s Forget-me-not-Friday is about my nearly-two-year-old’s developing grasp of language…which in turn means she can give her older sister what for.

Nearly-four-year-old: “You pushed me!”

Nearly-two-year-old, matter of factly but still in babyish voice: “I didn’t push you”

Nearly-four-year-old, startled and indignant at this sudden eloquence in her little sister “You DID push me!”

Nearly-two-year-old, quietly defiant: “I didn’t push you..”

…and so on. We were in the supermarket at the time. The checkout was *interesting*.

Finally, here’s a photo of my lovely nearly-two-year-old at the dentist. She surprised me by being very, very good.IMG_4492

 

Forget-me-not-Friday #61

Forget-me-not-Friday

This is no lie…fiancée reported that our nearly-four year old actually said this and had the video to prove it…

Nearly four year old: “Daddy, what colour is love?”

Daddy: “I’m not sure, what colour do you think it is?”

Nearly four year old: “Erm…I think it is all of the colours. All of the colours in the rainbow!”