When I was but a young whippersnapper, my best mate and I used to refer to our parents as ‘the olds’. In fact, thinking about it, we used to call anyone over the age of 30 an ‘oldie’. These creatures tended to have certain characteristics only found amongst their own kind.
Imagine my horror on the realisation that I am now deeply entrenched in oldie-ness.
Here’s the evidence:
- I am 38
- I now listen to radio 4 every morning and just realised it’s years since Chris Moyles was even on Radio 1
- I religiously cling film every leftover foodstuff before it travels from kitchen worktop to fridge
- I say “I CAN’T HEAR MYSELF THINK!” several times a day
- I say “AND DON’T THINK I DON’T MEAN IT!” several times a day
- I get excited about going to Aldi, particularly the Special Buys
- I get excited about things like a new ‘easy food chopper’
- I get excited about my new kitchen radio a kind friend recently bought me every time I switch it on (I may also partake in ‘Mum-dancing’ around the kitchen table)
- I take photos of my amazing black tomatoes I lovingly cultivated (have a look at this photo at your pleasure)
- I get very, very angry at the slugs that keep eating my black tomatoes
- I think it’s a ‘palava’ to go out at night (I still manage it occasionally – but I do wear a coat)
- I have realised that everything in River Island is ‘unsuitable for a lady of my age’
And so oldie Expression and Confession will shortly take herself off to bed, probably wishing an electric blanket was one of those Aldi Special Buys…
What are your oldie traits? I bet they’re something else.